So originally I was going to make the first blog start off with my childhood and stuff like that, but the more I thought about it, I felt like it was better to start off where where I am today and move from there.
My name is Priscylla Rei Snow, and as of March 2016 I have fully come out as a mtf. For those of you who don’t know, mtf stands for Male to Female, meaning I’m transgender. To be honest, I’m not like a lot of other transgender people I know. Firstly, I don’t take pride in being identified as transgender. I don’t dislike it, but the point of all of this is to be seen as a woman. As long as I give power to the transgender title, I feel like I’m telling the world that trans is different than being a woman. Secondly, I did not grow up ever thinking that my life would take me in this direction. In all honesty, I had grown up thinking that everyone in the LGBT community was weird. I didn’t think they were evil or anything, and I certainly didn’t hate them, but I didn’t understand them or how they could feel the way they did.
I will openly admit, in my life, I have said things that you would expect a bigoted person to say. I have asked what is stopping anyone from saying they’re female and going to the women’s bathroom. I have despised and hated feminists. I have said incredibly racist and insensitive things. All of that will be explained as I get to those parts of my life and I will let readers judge if I’m a good person or not.
The last thing that I want to mention in this opening post is that at this point in my life, I have several major problems in my life.
Firstly, I drink. A lot. I make light of it and to a large extent I enjoy it, but it has gotten to the point where people around me have said their piece on it and that is part of the reason I’m starting this blog. I drink because I’m lonely and angry. I drink because I feel helpless in my life and weighed down by the experiences of my life. I drink because I like alcohol and I like how it makes me feel. My hope is that by sharing my experiences the people I know in my life will understand me better, and at the same time by sharing I will grow as a person and not feel the need to drink as much.
Secondly, I have super-duper bad depression problems that I’ve had since I started puberty. I know what you’re probably thinking, “Transgender with depression at puberty.” Well you’d be wrong. My depression had nothing to do with that in the beginning though it definitely has been effected by my HRT and life since I decided to transition. More to the point, my depression literally drives me into fits of borderline insanity. It’s a horrible experience and among the other parts of me that I’ll share when I discuss this part of me, many readers are going to think that I need a lot more help than I’m getting now. It is my hope, however, that sharing this and getting it out into the open will help me grow and help the people I want to be close to understand me more.
Anywho, I think that’s a pretty good start to all of this. I hope to be pretty consistent writing in this blog, but to be honest I’m a very inconsistent person, so we’ll see.