Stay Awhile and Listen

So last post I talked about trying to kill my cousin. Good stuff. Today I’m going to tell the awesome story of why I didn’t see my mother for 14 years.

It all started after my dad got married to his trailer trash wife (she really is trailer trash, her family lives in a trailer park). Being the young naive child I was, I thought that it was totally okay for me to say that I had 2 mothers. Well my bio mom did not like this at all and when I was talking to her on the phone one night, I called my step-mother my mom and my mom lost her shit (kinda like how I do now). I remember from this incident that I ended up swearing at her (though I don’t remember what I said. I only remember because I wasn’t allowed to swear at the time). Fast forward, my step-mother was terrified and I mean TERRIFIED of my bio mom and was afraid that my bio mom was going to come and kill her and take me. One of the most detailed memories I have is of my step-mom standing at the door with her softball bat (yea, how lame is that) when someone knocked on the door because she was afraid it was my bio-mom. It was actually my friend’s dad who my family was friends with (thanks to me). Anywho, the dramatic night ended with me at my friend’s house.

Fast forward a little bit and my bio-mom is now the equivalent of Voldemort in my house. My step-mom has had her first kid of her own, but is treating me decently still. Then the second one comes out and suddenly I’m treated like total shit. Everything that happens is my fault and every mistake I make warrants an 8 hour (not exaggerated) lecture because my step-mom was taking out her anger at her own life on me.

*Scylla fact! As a young child I had been lectured by my step-mother multiple times for not doing things like rinsing ketchup off my plate after dinner till 3am just because.

My father, who I had idolized as a child (hence why my bio-mom moved back to NY from Virginia) was completely indifferent towards me after his other kids. I was just the baggage he had from another life and I was never allowed to forget that. I’ll be fair to them, they weren’t the worst people in the world, I know that a lot of people have had it worse, but to me it ruined me. These experiences ruined the idea of what a family was to me and even now I believe that family is more of burden than anything positive.

I’m glossing over a lot of this part in my life, but I will definitely start writing anecdotes about certain situations that I remember clearly. In the end, I rejected my bio-mom and was ostracized by my dad and step-mother. To this day I don’t understand what families and support systems are.

Sorry this post sucks, but it’s a bit more about me if anyone cares.


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