Hey cool kids!
So I’ve been AFK for sure for the last few weeks. I’d love there to be a profound reason, like I was busy doing this or that, but the fact is, I’ve just been so depressed I haven’t been doing anything. I tell myself constantly that depression isn’t an excuse to be unproductive, and I truly and honestly believe that. Yet, here I am, not blogging, not making Let’s Play videos. I literally just sit at home, procrastinating applying for jobs and not working on anything like I should be. I’m ashamed of myself and honestly, I don’t feel like I have a valid excuse.
I haven’t even been taking care of myself. Most days I stay in my pajamas and I wish I could say that showering and basic hygiene were the norm. Most of the time I feel disgusted with myself and my body and I wonder what the point of any of it is.
The only upside lately is getting to spend time with Wyatt and Tara. Wyatt annoys the shit out of me, but I love him to death and it’s fascinating to watch him grow. Tara does her best to make sure that I don’t die and without her I don’t know what I’d do. She’s the only person I talk to anymore for the most part and I guess there’s no one to blame for that but myself. I just feel like a failure. I’ve failed at Georgia Tech, I’ve failed to keep up with my projects and work. I’m pretty sure I’m a failure as a mother, too.
Anywho, this blog isn’t really meant to be for ranting about personal stuff, but if anyone has been wondering where I’ve been, that’s about it.